Understanding Over-Control: An Intro to Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO-DBT)
The Reinforcement of Perfectionism
Having worked in the legal field, I’ve experienced firsthand how perfectionism is often rewarded. Our society tends to reinforce the notion that being cautious, perfectionistic, and rule-governed is a virtue. However, excessive self-control can eventually harm our well-being. This issue often goes unnoticed, leading people with over-control tendencies to try various treatments that might help some symptoms but don’t provide lasting relief.
The Nature of Over-Control
Interestingly, over-control is more common than under-control, though it’s less frequently treated. Over-control often manifests as:
Being very detail-focused
Engaging in overly cautious behavior
Rigidly adhering to rules and behaviors
Feeling socially distant and alone, even when around others
Consistently comparing oneself to others
My Experience with RO-DBT
As a clinician trained in Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO-DBT), I have also been a client of this therapy. Fun fact: many therapists are more over-controlled!
“We wouldn’t have landed on the moon if not for over-controlled folks. ”
I enjoy teaching RO-DBT because it’s both humbling and fun. It has positively impacted my relationships by helping me “loosen my grip” on control and embrace vulnerability. Through RO-DBT, many individuals have transformed their relationships with themselves and others.
What to Expect in RO-DBT
In RO-DBT, we focus on various lessons, including:
Engaging in novel behaviors
Relaxing our nervous systems (polyvagal theory)
Being open to feedback from others
Giving feedback to others
Identifying and embracing our values
Practicing forgiveness (of self and others)
Embracing the gray area between black-and-white thinking
RO-DBT involves weekly homework linked to the lesson taught each week. The class structure typically includes a brief mindfulness practice, homework review, break, and new lesson. There are 30 lessons over about 8 months, primarily targeting emotional loneliness. In individual therapy, we identify private thoughts, behaviors, and emotions that lead to ineffective social signaling, all while learning to ask, “What can I learn from this?” instead of resorting to self-criticism.
“Today, I am fortunate to have woken up. I have a precious human life, and I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself and be more radically open to what the world has to offer. I will actively seek ways to join with others and accept problems as opportunities rather than obstacles. I am going to have kind thoughts toward others and not think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can.”
Who Can Benefit from RO-DBT?
RO-DBT is a trans-diagnostic treatment that can benefit individuals with:
Autism spectrum disorder
High perfectionism
A history of anorexia nervosa
Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder
Treatment-resistant depression
Join Our RO-DBT Community!
We would love to have you join our RO-DBT community. For more information, visit the official RO-DBT website and to learn more about the RO-DBT program at OCDMN, go to https://www.ocdmn.com/rodbt.
